I’m not a professional. But if you’re depressed then maybe it wouldn’t hurt to get some counseling. Also, allow for this time to happen. Listen to it. Flow with it. It’s there to tell you something. But you may need to have someone listen with you. In the meantime, if you don’t feel like eating at least have some kind of meal replacement.

I’m curious to know what you’ve been internalizing in regard to spiritual things. I keep finding some kind of panicky exodus in people like you on these sites–folks in a mad rush to jump onto the “transformation/ascension bus”.  There are so many paths, methods, and religions, which say they lead to higher awareness that I think many folks have been misled into spiritual confusion. Don’t think about leaving the planet anymore. You owe it to yourself to take the responsibility of examining what you’ve allowed into your psyche. There are many who understand basic spiritual psychology waiting to assist you.

Do you believe in things you don’t truly understand? Maybe you need to slow down and bring it all to light. Time doesn’t run out. Time is directly synchronized to your awakening. When people hear about spiritual gifts and try to force a way to get “there” and then end up disappointed, it is best taken as a lesson in the classroom of life. We live in an instant gratification society. But the shift you speak of happens at the level of one’s consciousness and requires an integrative period for higher knowledge; a period of equalization unique to each person’s focus on this transforming thought energy.

People who’ve stopped taking care of themselves while waiting for this ascension are missing a major chunk in the process. The work happens “in here” not “out there”.  We need to acknowledge and love ourselves for one thing, and I’m not talking about selfish conceit. We need to come away from self denial and love the essence of life coursing through our veins. NOW! Wherever we are in our evolution. Not at some point in the future when we are “there”.

You say you feel lifeless over this. It sounds like you’ve given your power away and distanced from yourself. Accept it as but a lesson. I’ve got news that you may not have heard. You are very strong because you are created from Omnipotence. Now TURN AROUND and take back your power. Accept yourself with all of your perceived flaws, blues and all. The old metaphysical acronym KISS goes a long way. Look it up. You are loved and people really do care about you.

Yes, I know letting go of hand-me-down beliefs can be disorienting (for a time), but we have to remember beliefs have no life of their own. It is we who are the life of belief.

“An exceptionally thought provoking narrative about Universal Law.”

The life of protagonist, Salvatore DeSanti, in the seaside community of Gloucester, Massachusetts sets the scene for this journey into self.

In the dualities of life, the rustic beauty of his beloved city stands in contrast to outside forces after heroin invades its shores in the early 1970s.

Suffering from an anxiety disorder that leaves him vulnerable and beyond the help of his religion, Salvatore seeks help in the knowledge passed through the ages by ancient mystics.

But before he knows what hits him, a freak accident catapults Salvatore to a parallel reality where he meets the translucent entity he comes to know as Gloria. The mysterious gift she places in his hand comes to life in a divine scheme, setting him on the brink of drastic change.

Gloria sustains Salvatore as he faces his darkest moments through a window to the past. She aligns him with the light of sages, and while standing beside him at the crossroads of truth and illusion, Gloria shows him the power of belief and the dynamics at work on the flipside of the Law of Attraction—the reason for his guilt.

In an array of splendid metaphor, Salvatore emerges victorious when he realizes the missing ingredient in his life—his innocence.

What is your opinion on alcoholism? Do you think all alcoholics feel a pressing need to drink all the time, some of the time or none of the time? I believe all three to be correct. So many people have the wrong information about the different reactions people may have to alcohol. Not everyone processes it in the same way. Most people have no problem with metabolizing alcohol. But unfortunately, alcoholics have what I would call a physical malfunction. I know this from personal experience. In my younger days, drinking escalated from weekend warrior syndrome to a more frequent habit. At least that’s what I called it. I wasn’t in denial as so many concluded. The real missing link concerning what happened inside my body when I drank alcohol was that I was uneducated. I didn’t think of myself as alcoholic. I thought I was a problem drinker; even though small tremors in my life evolved to major earthquakes. Those earthquakes led to my decision to leave alcohol alone. I did so without any struggle. There was no white knuckling it or rehab. It wasn’t until years later during a momentary lapse of reason when I forgot how acutely sensitive I was to alcohol that I knew I was more than a so-called problem drinker. At a festive event where old friends converged, I decided to loosen up by having a few drinks. Heck, I hadn’t had any problems with alcohol in so long that any life altering catastrophes associated with it in my past were like a child’s long forgotten nightmares. To my surprise, I found I couldn’t be more mistaken. My physiology had not changed. When the alcohol entered my system my body wanted more. Needless to say I became intoxicated. I think I had so much sugar in me that I nearly blew out my pancreas. The shame I felt for weeks after was almost unbearable. I had thought of myself as totally clean and new before that night. Then that newness went away and I felt like I lost self-trust. Who was I? A drunk? During the following week I recalled a string of alcohol related events that turned my life upside down in years past. Those forgotten events now seemed as though they happened just yesterday. They surrounded and suffocated me. I was so angry and disillusioned with myself that I could not contain my grief. It took a while, but I had to realize it was set before me that I needed to forgive myself. After all I had learned spiritually, was this a test to see if I could walk my talk about forgiveness? Was the same type of self-separated ego I write about in my book asserting itself mercilessly by immobilizing me in guilt? Only if I allowed myself to stay suspended in its grip. I believe there are two kinds of guilt. There is the false guilt wielded by its twin—self-condemnation, and there is real guilt, which comes from harming yourself or others. I knew better than to condemn what God created, namely me, so I chose to use the guilt I felt. It led me to look closely at what I needed—information. My friend gave me a book titled “Under The Influence” by Dr. James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham. The book is filled with statistical data on the reactions of alcohol on the physiology of the people who cannot tolerate it. Alcoholism is explained, and not as a psychological weakness. The word “alcoholic” is one of the most stigmatized words in the English language today because of ignorance. Maybe another word should be coined. But in any case it is the most used word to describe a physical disease that is often misunderstood—even by the people who suffer from it.

In the duality of the situation…there was smoke at one pole and fresh air at the other. The more I thought about breathing beautiful fresh air, the further I climbed the degrees to the positive pole of health. I depolarized my unhealthy habit, and repolarized without white knuckling it because I didn’t think about quitting…I thought about fresh air. I was using universal law to my benefit.

The beauty of the situation is not only am I smoke free, but I am empowered to live a better life through the conscious use of natural law and my imagination. It’s the best thing we have going for us to stop the clanging symbols of repetition. The best thing I can do with the experience is to share it.

While sitting in her recliner watching television, my mother was increasingly annoyed by a strange, oscillating hum in her ears. Upon standing, she became alarmed when she broke into a sweat and felt pins and needles running up and down her body. My Mother told me she feared she was having a stroke. Attempting to trace the origin of the sound, she removed her glasses thinking they were interfering with the volume control of her hearing aid. That being no help, she removed the hearing aid. Relieved when all the annoyances stopped—her voice rang with surprise when she told me her hearing was as clear as a bell. My Mother said she could read the small print on the television screen without her glasses—shouting, “I’ve never been able to do that!” Her voice boomed when she told me she planned to pick up a rowing machine and begin an exercise regimen to ward off the effects of multiple sclerosis. Her buoyancy lifted me, yet I failed to connect the dots all of this happened on the same day, at the same time I prayed for her healing while sitting on my bed.

It was the day after the prayer meditation I spoke to her. Then I went to work again as usual. When I walked into the empty building on my schedule that night—the memory of the prayer and my mother’s phone call hit me like a ton of bricks. In the abruptness of the moment, three entities stood before me. I associated them with the one sitting next to me on the bed during my prayer for my mother. They reminded me how I lacked any expectation of mother’s healing to the degree of total forgetfulness. But at the same time, these entities told me that my emotion, visualization, and the letting go of it was what sent it hurtling to my mother. Were they there to admonish me—to tell me that prayer and meditating were not just a feel good game and to pay attention? They acknowledged I had prayed right, but that in the end I didn’t notice the results. Spiritual entities don’t use words with me,  but convey rapidly through pure thought and feeling, which I dilute in a struggle with words.

Leaving me shaken by their directness, and before departing like the wind after about two minutes, these spiritual entities assured me there was life after death, and yes—that they were really there. Not to be disrespectful, but it would be more accurate to say they shoved it in my face. I have no regrets about the experience, but I realized I had begged— please, just touch my mother with healing. On that day, I learned it is unnecessary to beg the universe for anything. I wish I had simply asked in faith for her complete healing, because the actual outcome was a duplication of my request.